Short Update!

February 23rd, 2008 by m3rv

Short update lang about myself…

Work… ayon, still very dedicated to it! I love what I am doing right now. May it be in the hospital or in the CallCenter. I finally find joy in what I am in to. At sana tuloy-tuloy na ang lahat ng toh. I had an interview last Wednesday for college. Sana they will take me. I hope they saw how much I loved what I am doing right now, and that I really wanna continue all this.

LL… I finally got what I wanted. Either all or nothing. And not something in between. I got the closure I was searching for. So it ended up with nothing. Which is defenitely the best for both of us. And now? Here I am. Being able to prioritize and focus on other aspects of life. Especially on my future.

Friends… Now I can say that it’s really better to have some close and true friends than many good ones. I know I didn’t have the time for many of them in the last months, which doesn’t mean anything. Still, here I am, just a call away.
And who would ever thought that this girl, na nagpaUso ng "You are so rude" or "ka-Corrny", would get so close some time?! Isang kaibigan na sobrang totoo. I feel understood kahit anong problema pang i-share ko sa kanya. There’s no judgement in every opinion she shares but true words coming from a person who never forgets to remember. Somebody who is not only focused on what she’s thinking but respects the feelings of others. I admire you for the responsibility you have at your age, the love for your family and friends, pati na rin kay fren, and for how TRUE you are. Actually I am not good in all this, so i hope a Thank You LiAnn will do it :D! I mark your words from our last conversation kanina when I was trying to call her:"Huwag kang sumuko!"

28 days to go. Finally, I will be back home, where I actually left parts of me. Parts that got broken along the months. I wanna pick’em up and try to put it back into one piece. I think this vacation will be different from others. I will have to face things where I have to be a lot more stronger than before. Facing people I want to know better. I am so excited about it. I don’t know how it’s gonna be. But I know, as everytime I am being back home, it’s gonna be great to be back. With family and friends. So… we will see.

Ano pa bang pwedeng i-update sa inyo? Hmmmm… pag-isipan ko muna… to be continued nalang :]

Goodbye 2007!!!

December 1st, 2007 by m3rv

This year is almost ending. And as usual, so many things happened. Love, laughters, tears, anger, disappointments, hatre, everything. I had it all. And still, here I am. A changed person in some ways. All the bad things that happened made stronger. So I can’t even consider them as bad as I turned to be a better person in a way. All the pain I went through, the tears I cried, the hatre I felt towards people, the laughters I had. Here I am… This is ME!

Family members and friends left us. Maybe for some reasons they did their part in this life. (R.I.P Lola Vie, Lolo Kiko and Mark Anthony)

I was not able to please all people. And to be honest, I don’t want to anymore. I am sick of it. I may have lost some friends in a way, but hey that’s how it goes. People will walk in and out of our lives. And I can say, there are people in my life now who have walked in and I don’t want them to walk out ever. People who have already proven to me that they’re worth it to be treasured and to be kept. And I surely will.

I started to work full time. And I can say, No Easy Money. It’s harder than I thought it was. But it feels good. Because I know with every single Cent I earn I am able to help not only myself but even others. All of us (magkakaibigan) started working this year. And every time we open up this topic, we realize that we are not getting younger anymore. We are Grown Ups now guys. I am so proud of Us. I really am. Keep up the good work. Kaya natin ‘toh.

Lovelife. Yes I have had one. Have had? Oo. Present perfect. Started in the past and is still holding on in my present. Don’t worry, someday I can say, I had it with him. I am working on it. I don’t regret anything me and this guy had. Because in a way, he made me happy. He was my inspiration. It was him who brought me to where I am now. But even if I don’t have him anymore, I am still here. I continued living life. He may broke parts of me into pieces, but there’s no piece missing. They are still there. Finding the right match and day by day it is being WHOLE and COMPLETE again. I am recovering step by step. I never dealt with closed doors, and I never will. It’ll always be red and will always be open for anything that comes my way.

And with this last part of my Blog entry, I want to thank the people who guided  me through all those times. Good and Bad. Family koh. Sobrang thank U. They were those people who really gave me strength when I needed it the most. Gonzales’ and Ramos’ family. I had great times with U. I miss U guys so much. My friends, who have been there from the very start and even those who crossed my way only this year, THANK YOU! You are family to me. You were always there. Yes there were times we were arguing about this and that, but look at us. Finding in each others arms… Again and again. Nixie, I am sorry for all my shortcomings these last months. I miss U nah!! Ateh Izzy, almost 4 months na ateh. Time passes by so fast. And from time to time, we are discovering more things about each other. We have a looong way to go. A loooong way with good memories and a good friendship, i know. I feel good by having real friends already but it defenitely feels better to have such a friend like U. And also Thank You to those who were a part of this year’s journey who got me wrong, judged me and hurt me. You helped me out to be a better person!!!

A hell of a good life is waiting for Us in 2008! Year of the Rat… here I come.

WoooW! Na-speechless ako…

November 27th, 2007 by m3rv

Horoscope ko this day… After getting tipsey… And open up… This fits so much…

The Bottom Line

Words can convey feelings, but there is nothing like contact to make a connection.

In Detail

Some people try to distract themselves from problems at home by
immersing themselves in work or school. But that tactic is a poor one,
since it only delays the inevitable. Do not make the mistake of
pretending something doesn’t exist when it does, because sooner or
later reality will come knocking on your door and you will have to deal
with it. Face things head on and you’ll see how they are much more
minor than you thought. Denial makes things worse than they really are.

My “I haveS”

November 8th, 2007 by m3rv

I’m solving my problems, step by step. I’m having a great time at work. I’m being so much loved by my collegues and patients. I have parents who seem to be so proud of me, love me unconditionally and make me have anything I need and want. I have a brother who shows concern to the fullest. I have aunties, uncles, cousins and friends who seem to love me, too. I have a boyfriend, who causes a rollercoaster ride in me and is the reason why I’m at my deepest sometimes, but I still love him like hell and I feel so much loved, too. So you see, I have…!!! But there’s one thing people just can’t see behind all those things I have. I’m sure nobody would be thinking about this seeing me this way. Behind those ‘I haveS’ is still one missing. I have a damn convincing smile ’cause nobody can see what’s really hiding behind it…

Hold me now…

November 5th, 2007 by m3rv

The lyrics just fit somehow…

Used to think that I wasn’t strong enough
To afraid of really fallin’ in love
Something told me I could let go with you
and thats how I make my decision
To give it a try
I remember smiling the day we met
You we’re nervous cause you didn’t know me yet
Glad I took the time to get close to you
Cause I knew that it would be something
I needed to do

[Chorus]
So please
Hold me now
Cause we’ve only got tonight
So hold me now (now)
I didn’t wanna think that I was wrong
Bout what I found
So hold me now

Now that I’ve giving you all myself
Need to know its me and nobody else
Need to know that the choice we made is real (so real)
and that you are feeling the same way
The way that I feel
My emotions
Making it happening
Got me so into you that I can hardly breathe (hardly breathe)
My heart is pounding wishing you’d let me know
Now that I’ve let u have me
Wont let me go

[Chorus]
So please
Hold me now
Cause we’ve only got tonight
So hold me now (now)(now)
I didn’t wanna think that I was wrong
Bout what I found
So hold me now

Baby in your arms
Is the only place I feel I belong tonight
So hold me
Cause who would know what might happen after tonight
and I’m hoping this was right

[Chorus]
So please
Hold me now
Cause we’ve only got tonight
So hold me now (now)(now)
I didn’t wanna think that I was wrong
Bout what I found
So hold me now

Please hold me now
Cause we’ve only got tonight
So hold me now (now)(now)
I didn’t wanna think that I was wrong
Bout what I found
So hold me now

Please hold me now
Cause we’ve only got tonight
Please hold me now
Cause we’ve only got tonight

I haved learned…

November 3rd, 2007 by m3rv

I’ve learned that no matter how much I care,
some people just don’t care back.
I’ve
learned that no matter how good a friend someone is, they’re going to
hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust and seconds to destroy it.
I’ve learned that true friendship continues to grow even over the longest distance.

 

I’ve learned that it isn’t always enough to be
forgiven by others, sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I’ve
learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken, the world doesn’t stop
your grief.

I’ve learned that you should always leave loved ones
with loving words because it maybe the last time you see them.

I’ve
learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are,
but we are responsible for who we become.

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t compare yourself to
the best others can do, but to the best that you can do.

I’ve
learned that it’s not what happens to people that’s important, it’s what they
do about it.

I’ve learned that no matter how thin you slice it,
there are always two sides.

I’ve
learned that it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I’ve
learned that it’s a lot easier to react than it is to think.

Words of a wise person!

kaRen senT mE thiS….

November 3rd, 2007 by m3rv

ThiS reMinDs mE sO muCh oF mY n kaRen’s fRiendshiP.. i LiiiiiKe!

FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food.

REAL FRIENDS: are the reason you have no food.

FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs

REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM

FAKE FRIENDS: bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.

REAL FRIENDS: Would sit next to you sayin "Damn … we messed up … but that was fun!"

FAKE FRIENDS: never seen you cry.

REAL FRIENDS: cry with you

FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.

REAL FRIENDS: keep your stuff so long they forget its yours.

FAKE FRIENDS: know a few things about you.

REAL FRIENDS: Could write a book about you with direct quotes from you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I’M HOME!"

FAKE FRIENDS: Are for awhile.

REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough.

REAL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say "Drink the rest of that! You know we don’t waste!"

FAKE FRIENDS: will talk trash to the person who talks trash about you.

REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them out

To My Dear Best Friend Maileen.

November 2nd, 2007 by m3rv

I’m lying on my bed, having a sleepless night
why
YOU? It just doesn’t seem right.
10 years have passed, the day
U went away.
Is this how much U have to pay?
Losing Your life filled with laughter,
when happiness was all your after.
You just don’t deserve all this,

I hope you know how much
I miss you Sis!
All those tears I am
crying over you,
’cause till now, why all this happened,
I still got no clue.
But no more
grieving and crying,
to understand why, trying, trying and trying.
I know you’re happy now wherever you may be,
contented,
painless and free.
Where, what or who I’m gonna be,
You will always be one of the biggest
part of me,
my childhood, my life and my heart.
A sister, i will never forget,
one of the most
genuine person I ever met.
Forever you’ll be in this heart of mine,
THANK YOU for making 9 years of my life Shine!

January 2, 1987 - †July 8, 1997†

My Palm Analysis

October 24th, 2007 by m3rv

Life Line:
You have a natural ability to show your love and sympathy for others.
You are generally supportive when friends or family come to you for
assistance.

One of the most important things to you in life is to make
sure that you are living your life to its fullest. When you have
regrets, they are likely to stem from a sense of not having done enough
or wishing that you had done something differently.

When you are confronted with difficulties in life, you may
sometimes have trouble expressing yourself. With this challenge, it is
hard to ask for help when you really need it.

Head Line:
When it comes to leadership, you are probably quite comfortable in
either the role of the leader or the follower. Since taking charge is
not necessarily something you covet, you are usually fine with stepping
aside to let someone else take the lead. However, if no one else steps
up, you know you are capable of taking on the leader role.

Your thought process tends to be rational and analytical.
One could say that you probably enjoy being occupied with big, complex
problems. Even more rewarding is finding solutions that will make a
difference. However, your complex thought process could come off as
being unusual or overly convoluted.

You can enjoy a wide range of projects and may possess an
array of problem solving skills. However, the intensity of your ability
to focus or concentrate can widely vary, depending on what you are
doing.

While you are capable of multi-tasking, you’d probably
rather take a methodical approach, thinking through things one step at
a time and preferring only to begin one phase of a project after the
last phase has been completed.

Heart Line:
Your ability to be intimate with others may be influenced by a lack of
commitment. You may find it difficult to make emotional promises, even
if you are married. People you don’t know well may find you somewhat
distant.

In a tight knit relationship, you tend to be an
independent person with a calm and cool disposition. Your ideal life
mate will likely prize you for your loyalty and practicality. At times,
you may find that you get yourself into trouble in your relationships
by being too isolated and inattentive.

    For more information about your close relationships with others, see the "Attachment Lines" section of this report below.

Destiny Line:
Since you do not have a Destiny Line in your right palm, a palmist can
tell that you don’t focus a large amount of energy toward your future
career goals. You may prefer to let things come to you in time and
don’t spend a great deal of time planning ahead. However, when you are
particularly inspired, you are capable of intense moments of
productivity. When your interest in the project ceases, however, you
tend to resume your more casual approach to life.

Apollo Line:
The presence of an Apollo Line — even a short or faint one — suggests
higher than average success in creative ventures. A person with an
Apollo Line is more likely to receive acknowledgement as an expert or
specialist in their chosen field. There is also a high likelihood of
gaining personal recognition.

Mercury Line:
If you don’t have a Mercury Line in your palm, it doesn’t represent a
lack of communication skills. Usually, it suggests you land around
average or slightly above in your public speaking skills. Otherwise,
there is a chance that you may not listen to your intuition as closely
as those with a Mercury Line.

Your palm does not contain the Line of Psychic Ability,
which resembles an arc that is an extension of a person’s Mercury Line.
While psychics do not always have the Line of Psychic Ability, those
who have the line can more easily tap into their paranormal skills.
While you may have psychic abilities, you will likely have a more
difficult time accessing them than someone with the Line of Psychic
Ability.

Attachment Lines:
A palmist would say that you will be married multiple times or have
several committed relationships that do not lead to marriage. It will
be up to you at some point to make a decision that will either drive
you toward or away from each of these relationships. A palmist would
say that you will have the opportunity to have at least one child,
probably including a girl. The decision to embrace this opportunity to
bring children into your life is yours.

Mound of Jupiter:
You are blessed with a strong Mound of Jupiter. So, what does that
mean? When you are at your best, the clear goals you set go
hand-in-hand with your self-motivated direction. Together these
qualities tend to set you apart from others as a strong leader.

Mound of Saturn:
Your palm reveals a somewhat poor Mound of Saturn, as affirmed by its
shape and color. You probably don’t have an innate gift for
self-reflection or personal accountability. To tap into your inner
tranquility all you need to do is put forth the commitment to change.
It’s well within your reach!

Mound of Apollo:
Unfortunately, your Mound of Apollo is not the strongest, as revealed
by its bleak shape and color. What effect does that have on you? Well,
you tend not to focus on your imagination. You come up with ideas
inside the box, and thinking quick on your feet is not a strength you
possess. Don’t fret, the artist inside is screaming to come out. To
unveil this quality demands some effort on your part.

Mound of Mercury:

You can tell by its great shape and color that a healthy dose of Mound
of Mercury sits in your palm. When things are going well for you, one
could say that communicating clearly is your strong point. You really
understand what makes people tick. Others feel comfortable sharing
intimate details of their life with you that they may not with others.
Family and friends look to you as a deep and insightful confidant.

Mound of Mars:
Upper Mound of Mars:
Your Upper Mound of Mars is somewhat weak, as revealed by its shape and
color. You most likely lack the natural ability to maintain balance
amidst chaos. Putting up a brave front is not easy for you. To become
more courageous will require a concentrated effort on your part.

Lower Mound of Mars:

You’re all that, with your strong Lower Mound of Mars, as indicated by
its healthy shape and color. On your best days, your take-charge
attitude makes people stop and listen. This is a great attribute along
with your energetic approach to life that is contagious. You stand out
above others as extremely motivated.

Mound of Venus:
You can tell by its shape and color that you have a relatively poor
Mound of Venus. Most likely, you’re not a natural born listener. People
know not to come to you with their problems. You just don’t want to
hear them. Don’t be discouraged though — there is hope! However, to
become more compassionate toward others, you must put forth the effort!

Mound of Moon:
As illustrated by its awesome shape and color, you have a mighty
Mound of Moon. When you’re at your best, your inventiveness can lead
you to truly original ideas that most people wouldn’t think of.

My fingers and thumb:
The shape of your fingers and thumb reveal that you are an
impressionable person. You are open to the influences in the world
around you, yet you generally don’t act in drastic ways. Moderation is
key for you. The finger and thumb shape create energies that influence
the reading of each of your fingers and thumb and by extension, your
entire palm.

Your index finger, also called the Jupiter Finger, traditionally
corresponds with leadership abilities. Your Jupiter Finger is strong
which means you probably enjoy being in charge. You’ll likely prefer to
have a team of people working under your direction and enjoy guiding
people to meet their potential. Your index finger leans away from your
middle finger, indicating your need for independence and autonomy.
While being able to do things on your own is often a welcomed
attribute, you need to examine your level of self-sufficiency. It
should not prohibit you from asking for help when you need it.

Your middle finger, also called the Saturn Finger,
traditionally corresponds with confidence. Your palm bears a strong
Saturn Finger. One could probably bet your sense of self- worth ranks
high. It is more likely that you take risks in life because you believe
in your ability to succeed.

Your ring finger, also called the Apollo Finger,
traditionally corresponds with creativity. Your Apollo Finger appears
weak. Therefore, being creative may be somewhat challenging. You might
prefer to contribute to the world in ways that do not require you to
think of unusual ways of doing things. Your ring finger leans in toward
your middle finger, indicating your concern for the consequences of
your actions. This tendency may be hampering your creativity because
you are always thinking in terms of boundaries and limitations.

Your pinky finger, also called the Mercury Finger,
traditionally corresponds with insight and understanding. You don’t
have a strong Mercury Finger. This explains why sometimes you may have
difficulties understanding other people. You probably turn to a friend
or family member on a regular basis for their insight. Their advice
gives you perspective on your interactions with others. Your pinky
finger leans in away from your ring finger, revealing your strong
notion to think as individual and not adopt mainstream ideas.

Your thumb can be read to ascertain your level of
flexibility when it comes to dealing with people or unpredictable
situations. Your thumb reveals that you are a fairly flexible person
who commonly tries to keep the peace.

CongratuLationS, uR 100% maN!

October 24th, 2007 by m3rv

I start regretting it so much. Every little thing I dedicated and gave to you. The more I think about it and see your actions, the more I realize how much you’re worth it. Ask me how much??? You’re worth NOTHING. Not a tear… not a thought… not my time… not my care… not a cent… not my LOVE. Here I go again… always ending up with the wrong guy. But now, after falling down again… I just got up. But being wiser now. Thank U for the experience. At least there’s something positive I can save after this hell of a relationship. I always thought it’s so difficult to pretend, but for you it seems so easy. Damn how could you? Pretending to be always the good guy. All those text messages, private messages… Never you. The hell with it. My Mama always told me there’s no future for us. She looked at your picture and was telling me you’ll find another girl. I was only laughing at her. I was thinking like: He’s different from all the other guys. But now… U showed me that you’re just one of them guys. Congrats, you’re not being less of a man, you’re 100% of it!!!